I was in a fairly vibrant mood to face my Monday just now before it all took a wrong turn as I stood waiting for my daily transportation en route to work. I saw from afar what seemed to be my warning signal as a passer-by was almost hit by a thick, long, pain-inducing stick thrown his way by an elderly man on his bicycle. Fortunately for him, the stick evaded his way. The man on the cycle picked up the stick and continued his journey toward me, and before long, he threw that very same stick in my direction, nearly landing right onto my head. I took to my heels when I saw him, furiously looking as though dissatisfied that he had missed the target whilst mumbling only to his understanding, knowing that as soon as he had picked up the stick, he would attempt a second trial.
I took refuge in a filthy corner of a 3rd floor of a flat building, my whole body trembling in fear, heartbeats racing as my heart, if without control would have leapt out from its safe supposed cavity. It just so happened that my younger brother called me on the fone, prompting me to answer incoherently to his request of a favor.
I was praying hard.
Peeping through the railings of the building, anticipating that terrifying face.
Only one thought crosses my mind – my boyfriend.
I wanted to call him so badly, even as I am typing this now, but my will power is halting me. “Be strong, Lyss. The Lord is with you. Curse him not, for he is not rightful of his state. The Lord is with you. He is within you,”
And just that, although the fear and trauma remains, I breathed relief. I gathered my courage to slowly brave through my shaking, aching feet, mouth actively articulating prayers for peace, vision eyeing for safe clearance ahead, left and right, front and the back, stepping towards where I had come from, very cautiously and mindfully. Mind was by then still occupied with figuring out the next step, because the bus stop I was now heading to would be way out of my desired destination. Cabs rushing by me gave me a signified impression that I would hire one to head to the bus stop in front of the shopping mall nearby, wait for the bus I was scheduled to get on and reach my workplace safely.
My pale facade must have given it away when the cabbie asked me if I was alright. Politely I smiled, nodding in a way of acknowledging his concern, but even he and I knew, I was not. My heart itself had a heart attack.
One of my worst fears has come true.
Make it my second most chilling fear ; of the crazies.
I have always feared, ever since I was a young child, those who are incapable of controlling their mind. Not just the mentally-challenged, the drunk, drugged up filths, as well as enraged heads scare the living daylight out of me. It came true today, truly a mind-over-matter experience indeed.
The incident brought me unto conclusions aplenty; (many of which ring familiarly to the conversations I had with my man yesterday)
1. Always try to not be anywhere alone, no matter how tough and brave you are,
2. Run for your life, if fighting back seems unworthy of it all,
3. “Time to get a car, “ said my boyfriend yesterday.
4. I love my boyfriend enough to reach out to him during the hostile times.
My heart is still in knots. Yes, I am still scared. Traumatized, I reckon.
Imagine if I had stood there when that man picked up his stick.
Imagine if I had waited only to be attacked by him.
Imagine if something worse happened.
My boyfriend would have had a lot to handle.
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